My mom apparently urged my sister to get me a gift for Christmas or something, so today I got a slip of paper that says "Rain Check, present still in transit" because she ordered it online in the past couple of days.
Happy fucking holidays to everyone!
I'm going to go watch Love Actually now after my HIMYM season 1 marathon and just think about how badly I wish if my love life were a gooey romantic comedy we'd be at the 2 hour mark where everyone finds closure in a grand way or not, like over Skype, not the 1 hour mark where hearts are longing and things are left unsaid. Fuck I think I have like 5 ovaries churning out estrogen.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Cheers! Oh oops nope just kidding.
So today eating Christmas Eve dinner with my mom and sister (dad once again somewhere in Asia on a business trip, suspiciously over the holidays again), my mom had proposed a toast. I had first clinked glasses with my mom, and then I kept it raised towards my sister. She looked at me and just drank.
I was going to write a card and wrap the Christmas present I had bought for her towards the end of this past summer, but you know I'm honestly not feeling the holiday cheer. We don't even have a tree set up (it's in our garage too) and we're using this potted plant as a stand-in.
Good grief I despise coming here. Can't wait to go back home. Note to self: look into that summer psychology program.
I was going to write a card and wrap the Christmas present I had bought for her towards the end of this past summer, but you know I'm honestly not feeling the holiday cheer. We don't even have a tree set up (it's in our garage too) and we're using this potted plant as a stand-in.
Good grief I despise coming here. Can't wait to go back home. Note to self: look into that summer psychology program.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Dinner with dad
Well, first off you know something's wrong with your family when eating a non-holiday meal together needs to be scheduled a week beforehand.
Next, nothing dramatic changed between my dad and I since I started college. Collectively, my immediate family is remarkably terrible at holding a conversation. The dialogue between my dad and I was very matter-of-fact and short-lived.
On the other hand, my sister threw a fucking tantrum in the public restaurant. She was crying by the time we paid and left. And why? She didn't want me to get a new phone carrier. First, why is that any of her business? Second, why not? Because then my parents will actually be able to contact me? I'm personally convinced she doesn't want me to switch to a family plan because it'll save me money to pay for my proportion of a family plan because we pay for our phone bills by ourselves, yet she refuses to be on a family plan with my dad because she hates him.
At any rate, she kept spouting bullshit and making false claims until my mom, dad, and I all told her she was lying through her teeth about what all of us had said, at which point she just cried. So then we left the restaurant. When we got to the car, she just stood demandingly next to the shotgun door and my mom asked her why she was sitting in the front, to which she replied, yelling, that she didn't want to sit next to me in the back seats.
In fact, last night, I was grading the FPS packets for PPII because I have to get them to my boss by next weekish, and she took the power cord to the household internet modem because she thought I was going to be too loud and she wouldn't be able to sleep. Who the hell does she think she is? In what universe does she get to dictate what I can do at what hour? And she can't sleep when there's a closet and two walls between the room I was in and hers? She is like an actual manifestation of the first-world problem girl. She thinks she is entitled to everything. I know I told my mom there's no way I'd abandon her if she comes to me in need of financial assistance a couple decades down the line because she wasted her time in high school and college, but she is really testing me right now.
If my mom and sister arguing and my fairly indifferent dad is all I come home to, I think I'd be willing to consider just straight up staying in California whether or not I get a summer job, internship, or research position. I can't stand it here.
Next, nothing dramatic changed between my dad and I since I started college. Collectively, my immediate family is remarkably terrible at holding a conversation. The dialogue between my dad and I was very matter-of-fact and short-lived.
On the other hand, my sister threw a fucking tantrum in the public restaurant. She was crying by the time we paid and left. And why? She didn't want me to get a new phone carrier. First, why is that any of her business? Second, why not? Because then my parents will actually be able to contact me? I'm personally convinced she doesn't want me to switch to a family plan because it'll save me money to pay for my proportion of a family plan because we pay for our phone bills by ourselves, yet she refuses to be on a family plan with my dad because she hates him.
At any rate, she kept spouting bullshit and making false claims until my mom, dad, and I all told her she was lying through her teeth about what all of us had said, at which point she just cried. So then we left the restaurant. When we got to the car, she just stood demandingly next to the shotgun door and my mom asked her why she was sitting in the front, to which she replied, yelling, that she didn't want to sit next to me in the back seats.
In fact, last night, I was grading the FPS packets for PPII because I have to get them to my boss by next weekish, and she took the power cord to the household internet modem because she thought I was going to be too loud and she wouldn't be able to sleep. Who the hell does she think she is? In what universe does she get to dictate what I can do at what hour? And she can't sleep when there's a closet and two walls between the room I was in and hers? She is like an actual manifestation of the first-world problem girl. She thinks she is entitled to everything. I know I told my mom there's no way I'd abandon her if she comes to me in need of financial assistance a couple decades down the line because she wasted her time in high school and college, but she is really testing me right now.
If my mom and sister arguing and my fairly indifferent dad is all I come home to, I think I'd be willing to consider just straight up staying in California whether or not I get a summer job, internship, or research position. I can't stand it here.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Mistletoe! and thoughts on niceness
This was from StanfordGirlProblems, but it's great. Made me smile so hard and feel all giddy inside.
On an unrelated note, two days ago C- asked N-, S-, and I what was one thing I valued. Her own answer was niceness, because it is underappreciated and taken for granted. My initial reaction was that it is not underappreciated because nobody dislikes nice people. But then I thought about it a bit more, and it made sense. When people are really smart, or have a great sense of humor, or something like that, such a thing is often verbalized in a compliment. It's definitely far rarer to hear "you're just really nice." Maybe it's because the opposing complement (not compliment) of niceness is being mean or rude, which if you are you're just a terrible person, and so it's expected that you're not that, and thus are nice. Exceptionally nice is not distinguished from nice. Meanwhile, if you don't have a great sense of humor, you're not any less of a good human being, and so it's not expected that people will have good humor.
On an unrelated note, two days ago C- asked N-, S-, and I what was one thing I valued. Her own answer was niceness, because it is underappreciated and taken for granted. My initial reaction was that it is not underappreciated because nobody dislikes nice people. But then I thought about it a bit more, and it made sense. When people are really smart, or have a great sense of humor, or something like that, such a thing is often verbalized in a compliment. It's definitely far rarer to hear "you're just really nice." Maybe it's because the opposing complement (not compliment) of niceness is being mean or rude, which if you are you're just a terrible person, and so it's expected that you're not that, and thus are nice. Exceptionally nice is not distinguished from nice. Meanwhile, if you don't have a great sense of humor, you're not any less of a good human being, and so it's not expected that people will have good humor.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
A shade of jealousy
A not entirely light shade of jealousy of people who have family that they look forward to visiting or going home to, who receive care packages in college, whose siblings are not more of a stranger than virtually any passerby on any street, or whose family care so much that they post pleasantries on Facebook walls to the extent that they are a source of embarrassment and induce apologies from said people. Of course, I'm simultaneously very happy for them, and hope they maintain that closeness with family through their lives.
And, I refuse to become one of those distant parents, should I ever become one.
People have asked me why I procrastinate on buying tickets home so much, and they tell me that I should buy them ASAP because they get expensive. Thanks, I appreciate it, but if you don't think I know that you are severely underestimating my common sense. Last time I went home, I spoke maybe 40 words to my sister over 4 days. I found cases of alcohol in the fridge. I spent two hours the night of Thanksgiving after dinner looking at the asset-splitting spreadsheet my mom's divorce lawyer sent her, translating instructions from her lawyer and helping her understand how to fill out the spreadsheet because I did accounting for DECA. As much as I care about my mom, if she's contacting me even while I'm away at college, she will inevitably ask me to help her look at that kind of stuff back home, and that's not my idea of relaxation. Especially not compared to lazy days at a place like Stanford.
And, I refuse to become one of those distant parents, should I ever become one.
People have asked me why I procrastinate on buying tickets home so much, and they tell me that I should buy them ASAP because they get expensive. Thanks, I appreciate it, but if you don't think I know that you are severely underestimating my common sense. Last time I went home, I spoke maybe 40 words to my sister over 4 days. I found cases of alcohol in the fridge. I spent two hours the night of Thanksgiving after dinner looking at the asset-splitting spreadsheet my mom's divorce lawyer sent her, translating instructions from her lawyer and helping her understand how to fill out the spreadsheet because I did accounting for DECA. As much as I care about my mom, if she's contacting me even while I'm away at college, she will inevitably ask me to help her look at that kind of stuff back home, and that's not my idea of relaxation. Especially not compared to lazy days at a place like Stanford.
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