A shade of jealousy

A not entirely light shade of jealousy of people who have family that they look forward to visiting or going home to, who receive care packages in college, whose siblings are not more of a stranger than virtually any passerby on any street, or whose family care so much that they post pleasantries on Facebook walls to the extent that they are a source of embarrassment and induce apologies from said people. Of course, I'm simultaneously very happy for them, and hope they maintain that closeness with family through their lives.

And, I refuse to become one of those distant parents, should I ever become one.

People have asked me why I procrastinate on buying tickets home so much, and they tell me that I should buy them ASAP because they get expensive. Thanks, I appreciate it, but if you don't think I know that you are severely underestimating my common sense. Last time I went home, I spoke maybe 40 words to my sister over 4 days. I found cases of alcohol in the fridge. I spent two hours the night of Thanksgiving after dinner looking at the asset-splitting spreadsheet my mom's divorce lawyer sent her, translating instructions from her lawyer and helping her understand how to fill out the spreadsheet because I did accounting for DECA. As much as I care about my mom, if she's contacting me even while I'm away at college, she will inevitably ask me to help her look at that kind of stuff back home, and that's not my idea of relaxation. Especially not compared to lazy days at a place like Stanford.